Got a "messaging and branding" survey in the mail. The following are some of the questions and some of my answers.
"Please read the following product description in order to complete the final section of the survey.
'CompanyName is an online tool that enables companies to analyze purchase decisions drivers of startups by service area, geography and buyer characteristics. Using this powerful Web-based tool, companies can generate both standard and customized research reports from proprietary data. This information will help them gain a better understanding about the high-growth venture marketplace.'
I know you are a product for companies rather than human beings. Perhaps a comapany for VC? Anyhow I know to stay away.
I'm still wondering what kind of companies? What kind of services? It seems like snake oil to me. Why do you think this phrase is okay: "to analyze purchase decisions drivers of startups."
What the sam-hill is a 'purchase decisions driver'? Why don't you just say "helps companies make informed decisions when purchasing?"
Go explain what you do to your mom. When she understands you're ready.
, from oldest to newest:
What I want to know, is what is a 'sam hill'?
Posted by Matt @ 07/18/2001 06:33 PM pst
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hey, as long as we're shooting the fish in the barrel let's fry one up. i'm hungry. i spent all my money on shoes.
Posted by Mike @ 07/19/2001 12:14 AM pst
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sam-hill is a way of not swearing, and it is an uncle-lou-ism. My Uncle Lou is also the man who used to say "Forks was made before fingers" and "What do you want, egg in your beer?"
I also used to have a friend in middleschool who said "good try but no spoon" and "dead as a coffeepot." English is fun.
Finally I'll stop shooting fish in a barrel when there stop being so many of them.
oh, and when it stops being fun.
can I borrow your shoes?
Posted by christina @ 07/19/2001 01:29 AM pst
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I know you are a product for companies rather than human beings. Perhaps a comapany for VC? Anyhow I know to stay away.
here is a tool to help you sell your design/IA services to startups by helping you understand why they buy what they do, and you want to stay away?
Posted by eric @ 07/19/2001 05:26 AM pst
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Is that what they do? Thanks! Perhaps they should hire you, Eric.
Posted by christina @ 07/19/2001 08:30 AM pst
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Actually, Sam Hill is a lakefront restaurant in Austin. Didn't you know?
Posted by Rebecca @ 07/19/2001 10:42 AM pst
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Sadly, I do know what that gobbledygook is supposed to mean, and what a "purchase decisions driver" is... I see a copywriter in very serious need of a vacation among normal human beings.
Still, the tone of Christina's responses makes me a wee bit uneasy. It reminds me of a time I'd posted my resume on Craig's List, with a subject line that included the word "Marcom". Some self-righteous scold took the time to send me a message that mocked me for using a "buzzword", professing not to know what "marcom" meant.
Now, I'm all for clarity in writing, and I deplore the bad, buzzword-infested jabber that dominates business writing. But I find that lots of people who share this attitude are too quick to condemn writing just because it's not clear *to them*. That is, there's a strong tendency to treat jargon and buzzwords as the same thing, when they're not.
Jargon is a specialized vocabulary used within a particular field of interest or activity. *Within its specific context*, jargon makes communication more efficient and clear. Jargon terms are very frequently radical abbreviations of long words or phrases, serving the simple purpose of saving on space (writing) and time (speaking). Jargon tends to evolve and change fairly slowly, since it only works if everyone's up to speed, and innovation is only needed when the actual field of interest or activity itself undergoes innovation.
Buzzwords are practically the opposite of jargon. They are intended to cover a lack of thought and imagination with a pompous veneer. They make communication less clear and less efficient. Buzzwords are often much longer and more obscure than the simple and familiar words or phrases that they replace, serving the stupid purpose of making the speaker seem more knowledgeable and "with it" than the listener. New buzzwords must constantly be invented because they work best (at achieving their stupid purpose) when the fewest number of people know what they really mean. One key similarity between buzzwords and jargon, however, is that both are meant to work within a strictly defined context.
Now, if I were to visit a construction site, or an industrial printing plant, or a commodities trading floor, I would hear people saying things to each other that are meaningless to me, but which serve their special communication needs perfectly. This is jargon, and it would not occur to me to scold them for speaking in a way that neither I nor, presumably, their mothers could understand.
Another thing to consider is that some individuals in these places could well be using buzzwords, and I would have no way of knowing it (unless I noticed their listeners rolling their eyes and muttering "what an asshole!").
"Marcom" is jargon: It's an abbreviation for "Marketing Communications," which is too long to want to say often, or to write in a brief subject line. (And "Marketing Communications" is itself a piece of jargon, which takes the place of a long list of specific kinds of writing.) It's very well and clearly understood by everyone in the field of business marketing, and it's of no consequence if someone outside the field doesn't understand it--my friend the linguistic scold was not among my intended audience, indeed no one who doesn't understand "marcom" is likely to be interested in hiring me to do it.
(However, it does occur to me here that a frequent source of buzzwords is the taking of jargon out of context. A bit of jargon such as "marcom" or "bizdev" is simple communication within its context. But if you toss it around at a dinner party with non-business people, then it's a buzzword, meant only to impress—and succeeding only in making you look like an idiot.)
Now, I was going to say that "purchase decisions driver" is a buzzword. But the more I think about it, the more I realize it's not so simple. I've never seen or heard it before (and I do work in the field in which it's being used), which is why I want to call it a buzzword. But now that I've figured out what it means, I realize that, if widely adopted, it could become a very useful piece of jargon. Indeed, I was at a two-hour meeting a couple weeks ago where it would have been really helpful, possibly saving us 20 minutes and a lot of confusion and long-winded explanations.
Here's why: We were launching a new direct marketing campaign for a client trying to sell a certain kind of software to a certain kind of company. Much of the meeting was meant to help us all focus on precisely which individuals we wanted to aim our pitch at within the target companies. In the past, I've always seen these things focus on identifying the "decision-maker"; that is, the person with the authority to approve the purchase of the software. But this client wanted to introduce a distinction and refine that concept slightly. They wanted to address not the decision-maker, but the person, lower in the hierarchy, who would most directly benefit from having the software. This is the person who is motivated to follow up on the pitch, do some research, and eventually write a report for his or her boss (the decision maker) saying hey, we really ought to buy this software (thus "driving" the decision).
Well, it took a lot of time and interruptions and rephrasings to get everyone in the room to fully understand this idea. And the reason it took so long is just that the words and ideas for a distinction between "decision makers" and "decision drivers" wasn't well-established and familiar. And they still aren't, but if this becomes a common distinction within the direct-marketing industry, then "purchase decision drivers" will, and should, become a common and useful piece of jargon. I'll be able to ask a client "Are you targeting decision makers or decision drivers?" and they'll know what I mean, and be able to give me a quick, clear answer, and we won't have to spend 20 minutes coming up with examples and analogies to communicate.
So, to get back to my main point. Whether or not the average person, or the average person's mother, can understand that phrase simply doesn't matter, and such a person is in no position to judge whether it's a case of jargon or buzzword. All that matters is whether the people to whom it's directed can understand it. And it seems to me that whoever sent that survey out did so because they realized that, even within their specialized area, the idea and the term are new, and may not be understood (yet). And it's to their credit, I think, that they bothered trying to find out if it was comprehensible. If Christina is in the business, then her responses matter, and that's why they asked. But I disagree with her final recommendation. While you had best be able to get your mother to understand what you do, that's just to ensure you're thinking clearly. But unless you're selling to, or working with, people like your mother, there's no reason she should be able to understand your marketing copy.
Oops, there went my morning. A highly effective Web-based interactive rant-induction and productivity-avoidance solution... ;o)
Posted by Tony Burgess @ 07/19/2001 01:18 PM pst
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wow-- Tony's post was what I should have written. great insights, glad you were unproductive.
And you are right. I've used jargon as a password to get certain audiences to listen, to show I'm speaking the same language. I've said, "yeah, it's an 80-20" and (god help me) "I don't see how you can monetize that."
On the other hand, this particular survey was a brand and perception survey, they asked me what I thought because I was the target audience (or they are bad at recruiting) and I did genuinely not understand what they did--although I could have if they had rephrased.
So mom is not the right audience... but there is someone who is, someone between the two extremes. I've found trying to explain things to mom is a good exercise, as it reveals to me what is jargon and what is not. then I can decide which is worthwhile jargon and what isn't.
I'm pretty sensitive to this nowadays, as we struggle to strip the jargon from our descriptions of what we do so we can communicate with people were are trying to sell our services to.
And Tony was right-- the smart things was that they did ask people if they understood what they were talking about. I don't know if I am their target audience, but if I was, they learned I have no clue....
boy, that'll teach me to be facile.
Posted by Christina @ 07/19/2001 04:03 PM pst
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Fascinating exposition ... and here is was thinking that the "drivers" were those things within the decision maker. Things like an attitude of "keeping up with the Jones'es", or particular preferences for one media channel over another (eg. print vs teev), or a passion for excellence, or the desire to be better than dear old dad.
Those things that drive us to do what we do.
Posted by eric @ 07/20/2001 04:34 AM pst
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And I thought "purchase decision driver" was something I could install on Windows and which would probably break later when I tried to print.
Posted by Andrew @ 07/20/2001 08:34 AM pst
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Just a thought here - is the "Mom-test" a buzzword? It doesn't meet the qualification of being inscrutable (everyone knows exactly what you mean when you refer to it), but it seems that people have started using it the same way they use buzzwords in business communications. I had a client from large-financial-assurance-company-x for whom I was designing a web-enabled (oops) tool for use by their sales agents. The client, influenced by the (currently highly visible) usability community, kept asking me whether I thought my interfaces would pass "the Mom-test." "Well, no," I answered, "Unless your mom is an insurance sales agent."
This wasn't an isolated incident. I have found that, lately, every client I work with invokes "the Mom-test" at least once during the design cycle.
I wonder if "usability" itself isn't starting to become a buzzword, to be honest. E V E R Y S I N G L E RFP I've seen in the past year or so lists usability as a "top priority." Of course, they don't want to pay to have it tested, nor do they usually understand what it means...I've had clients ask for "Full Usability testing and evaluation," which they would later clarify as "we want you to really, really, look at our weblogs."
At the end of the day (sorry) buzzwords and phrases are used to pay lip-service (darn) to what the writer or speaker believes to be the expectation of their audience. Currently, Usability (rats!) is on everyone's lips - tell you what, though, it doesn't seem to be in anyone's budgets or brains. Like so many words (synergy, architecture, love, etc.), it is beginning to loose it's meaning through overuse. Hey, I think I just found my thesis statement:
"Buzzwords are Jargon that has been overused to the point of meaninglessness."
-or-
"Usability meets with Buzzword Death."
-or-
"Do you have to tip your Purchase Decision Driver? What if he takes the scenic route?"
Okay, that bit was un-called-for. I couldn't help myself...
Posted by Jaeson Paul @ 07/20/2001 11:45 AM pst
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Actually, Sam-Hill is the name of the street where all the Bullshit-VC firms are getting suckered into wasting their time and money by CompanyName.
Posted by stevev @ 07/23/2001 02:07 PM pst
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